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A journey into adoption - personal musings on our experience of going through the adoption process in the UK

A Journey Into Adoption


Chapter 1 – Where we are and how we got here
Where we give a little bit of info about ourselves and our background.

Chapter 2 – Deciding to start the process
Where we talk about the thought processes behind our decision that adoption was the right thing for us. 

Chapter 3 – Starting out and the initial meetings
Where we talk about taking the plunge and the first open evening at our local authority centre.

Chapter 4 – The Dis-Orientation Day
The second meeting - an all day "Orientation Day" event for those interested in adoption

Chapter 5 – Into the process - in triplicate
Filling in the application form and our first real experiences of the bureaucracy  involved in the whole process

In which we are visited by a social worker for the first time and make a few social (worker) faux pas.
Indignation and other general fuming at the social worker's screening report (and, considering that, a big surprise)

 Chapter 8 - First day at school; the First Preparation Day Pt 1
Bureaucracy, delays and meeting the rest of our group of fellow prospective adopters

Chapter 9 – It’s all about ME!!!!!! – The First Preparation Day Pt 2
Scepticism around the group about some of the underpinning concepts of our training and learning how to play the game within (and outside) the rules.

Chapter 10 – Introducing Attachment and Loss – The Second Preparation Day Pt 1
Yet more scepticism about some of the fundamentals, group dynamics and a slightly passive aggressive teaching style

Chapter 11 – The Second Preparation Day Pt 2 - The Curious Incident of the Playfully Accepting Empath In The Afternoon.
Learning about some nifty techniques for working with traumatised children and the single most moving exercise across the four prep days.

Chapter 12 – Matchmaker, matchmaker – The Third Preparation Day Pt 1
Civil war breaks out in the group over alleged "political correctness gone mad".

Chapter 13 – Adoption Trek: First Contact – The Third Preparation Day Pt 2
Discussions about contact, Googling and unusual names

Chapter 14 – Sorry Sir, my dog ate it – The Final Preparation Day
Process, legal stuff and doing your homework

Chapter 15 – Getting to know you: the first home-study visit
Meeting Denise, our social worker, for the first time and the office dragon

Chapter 16 – Friends – the second home-study visit
Eco maps (whatever they are) and early recollections of our childhoods...

Chapter 17 – Questions, questions – Exploring Attachment:Home-study visits continued
Being quizzed about the early experiences which made us who we are... and how we express that emotionally. And failing to join the Scouts

Chapter 18 – Childhood memories: Home-study visits continued
Becoming a "babe magnet" (with the under 2s at creche!), and reflecting back on our earliest memories.

Chapter 19 – Lots of homework and a reunion: Home-study visits continued
Thinking about Health and Safety, the hoops you have to jump through and a reunion with the guys from the Preparation Days

Chapter 20 – Play up and play the game: Home-study visits continued
The system, working within the system, working around the system, playing the system and how the system plays you...

Chapter 21 – Out and about: Home-study visits continued
Getting out of the house to meet some people at the sharp end... our visit to chat to a foster carer.

Chapter 22 – Out and about again: Home-study visits continued
In which we meet some people who had already adopted and visit a special adopters mums and toddlers group...

Chapter 23 – Cross References: Home-study visits continued
In which our nearest and dearest are asked to hold forth on our fitness to be parents...or otherwise...

Chapter 24 Entering the (Matching) Matrix: Home-study visits continued
In which we decide what we will and will not be able to cope with.

Chapter 25 The Home Straight: Home-study visits continued
Dotting every "i" and every "t"

Chapter 26: Paperwork and panels
Just what does your social worker send to the adoption panel for them to look at?

Chapter 27 Adoption Panel Day
The big day arrives

Chapter 28 Post approval: So what now?
In which we plunge into a limbo land...

Chapter 29 Setting a direction
 In which we decide to fake some degree of control for the sake of our sanity...

Chapter 30 - Equipping and filling time
 In which we do some training courses.

Chapter 31 - Shopping from the baby catalogue
 In which we consider those magazines with lots of children's profiles

Chapter 32 - Des Res, Central Heating, could require some restoration
In which we consider those magazines with lots of children's profiles a little further

Chapter 33 - The great reformation, part 1
Government reform of the adoption process in the UK.

Chapter 34 - The great reformation, part 2
 Government reform of the adoption process in the UK.

Chapter 35 - The great reformation, part 3
 Government reform of the adoption process in the UK.

Chapter 36 - Matching: Back On The Chain Gang
In which we are finally linked but left hanging

Chapter 37 - Matching: A little more information
 In which we get to see our first CPR form and start to think...

Chapter 38 - Matching: Further investigations
 In which we consider further if this is the little boy for us...
Chapter 39 - Matching: Decision time
 In which we make a momentous decision!

Chapter 40 - Matching: Under Scrutiny
 Meeting our little boy's social workers and being thoroughly checked out.
Chapter 41 - Matching: Meetings - Momentous and Mundane...
More process on the way towards making a match.

Chapter 42 - Matching: Meeting Our Little Man (momentarily)...

In which we actually get to meet our little man, for just one hour!

...To be continued...

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